MIL Ill again

Tonight, I'd planned on telling you one of my funny stories.  Heaven knows that my family has a ton of them.  Instead, tonight I'm concerned about my MIL. 

A couple of months ago we went through a round of ER visits, hospital stays and general panic.  You see, when MIL goes to the ER, she usually stays in the hospital for a few days.  While this sounds good, it isn't.  In the hospital she gets very, very confused.  So confused that the first time this happened, we thought she must have had a stroke.  Luckily, not so.  However, she was not rational either.  She cannot distinguish between the assisted living facility and the hospital.  Between the ER and the assisted living facility, yes; but not between a hospital room and the assisted living apartment.

For the first hospital stay she was scared and angry.  Anger has been one of the hardest things for us to handle because it took us so long to realize that anger is just fear with a mask on.  That she really isn't trying to be difficult but she doesn't understand the situation.  We reassured her that no one had stolen her room and that no one had taken her things.  Luckily, she believed us.

Fast forward through several more trips to the ER in a very short amount of time.  The family started discussing a nursing home instead of the assisted living facility.  This was tough on all of us.  The idea was for MIL to get better,  not worse.  Luckily, the doctor happened to be at the AL facility during a new attack that would have sent MIL back to the ER yet again (and would have sealed her fate for the nursing home).  After seeing her exact difficulties the doctor was able to adjust her medications to get her condition back under control. 

Fantastic news, right?  Sort of.

The doctor warned us that we had reached 'the kitchen sink'.  Starting from that day he was giving her everything he could for her condition.  If (when?) she worsened again, there is no additional medication, no more rabbits from a hat.  Hmm.  Ok, not such good news. 

It's been somewhere between a month and six weeks since we received this diagnosis.  Everytime she has a bad day, I mentally hold my breath.  Each time, she has pulled through.  All is good.  Today, I'm not so certain.  I am again holding my breath.

This time MIL has two issues.  First is a wound that has gotten infected.  If you look at my MIL's legs harshly the skin will break so you can imagine what happens when she actually bumps into something.  The wound had been healing well for a few days but then it started to hurt and now the infection.  The doctor has put her on an antibodic which will hopefully clear this up.

In addition to the wound she is having breathing problems today.  Breathing problems are a double edged sword for MIL.  First, she is tired and does not want to take her nebulizer.  Second, she cannot breath when taking the nebulizer.  Huh?  See she is short of breath and the oxygen comes in through a tube under her nose.  She cannot breath better unless she takes a 20 minute breathing treatment through her mouth.  See the problem?  She needs every breath through her nose to maintain but must have the medicine through her mouth.  Today I managed to coax her into taking about half of her medicine, then I looked away to do something.  When I turned back she had dumped the rest on the floor.  Nebulizer over.

Since she takes the nebulizer several times a day I'm hopeful that the next one will be taken in full but just in case I notified the nurse on staff to have someone watch her take her medicine. 

Tonight I am worried about her but I have been worried, much more worried before.  Hopefully there will be no 2:00am phone call. 

Hopefully tomorrow she will be filled full of mischief again and driving me nuts.  I hope so.

Asthma Attacks

Asthma Attacks

We've had so many good days that I had planned to give up my blog, but then we had some bad days, and then MIL was sick and not sick and the blog got lost.  As things even out in our life this blog will have to change and evolve but I'm going to try to keep it going.  It's been really fun to write.

Anyway, spring has sprung... sort of.  I know that I should be grateful for the lack of tornados in our area but would a ray of sunshine really hurt?  Just the other day I joked that we would be building an ark soon.  Of course, we'll have to get another dog as we only have one, but I have two kids and two hermit crabs so after I get the second dog I'll be set to float away. 

Spring for us always means allergies for both my husband and my son.  My son started on Clartin more than a month ago when pollen levels started to rise.  We monitor his peak flow (the amount of oxygen he breathes out) and just his general sniffles.  Mostly all has been good... until last week.  Hubby came home from work with a simple cold which progressed to a chest cough which immediately jumped to my son.  Crap. 

As you may know in the past a cold equaled a massive asthma attack and trip to the ER.  As my son has gotten older and bigger and as we have become more educated on asthma we have been able to catch several attacks before they happened.  So, in typical fashion we increased Flovent to twice a day and started my son on Albuterol twice a day.  Now, due to an insurance change, we have to get all of our medications mail order.  Of course I have not ordered new puffers of albuterol so I put my child on the nebulizer.
 
My son always has side effects.  Actually, I think everyone always has some side effects.  We had the racing heart beat and the all over shaky boy.  I didn't think much of it.  After 3 days of our standard medication our symptoms went crazy.  First I noticed that his heart beat was WAY too fast.  We sat together, watched tv and waited it out.  Later at dinner he was visibly shaking, fork swinging in the air.  I watched. 

The next day after the morning treatment things came to a head.  After running crazy through the house in a bad way,  (unless your the mom, you cannot distinguish bad running around from good running around) my son melted down yelling about brushing his teeth... still not outside of our range of normal.  We hit wierd when I walked into the bathroom to scold my child and he cowered in the corner and said 'mommy, please don't kill me'. 

I stopped. 

I looked at my son and whispered 'why would you say that?'.  He answered, 'not you, daddy'.  I answered, 'daddy left before you got up, just like every other morning.'  My son started to sob and say 'I don't know, I just don't know.'  At this point, I crossed the floor to him and held him. 

That day I took him off all  medications.  All of them.

My allergist was available to see us 4 days later (perhaps it is time for a new allergist), and could not come up with any real reason for this strange reaction.  According to him, the nebuilizer dispenses more medication that the normal puffer so perhaps this caused the reaction.  My allergist, who I think is very good most of the time, doesn't like to consider a child who may have additional issues like SPD.  How exactly do you figure that into the equation?  Even I'm not sure.  In addition, he can't decide if I'm a crazy mom or one who is on top of it.  You have to admit, both types of mom's look similar.

We've adjust my son's medication to Singular instead of flovent and claritin in hopes that this combination will help prevent attacks better.  Albuterol is still our back up medication based on our success in the past but I am concerned about our next attack.  Will the albuterol work in a more sustained fashion or will we be faced with another breakdown like before?

Only time will tell.

Oh, What a Normal Night

Oh, what a normal night!

I don't often feel like I get to write about normal nights. Today wasn't totally uneventful. After going to bed late last night, my children got up at midnight to celebrate the new year. My husband was in charge of this event and all three of them had a great time watching fireworks in the sky and saying “hi” to neighbors. Our little poppers were just the icing on the cake.

The kids did a good job sleeping in this morning but today was a day packed full of places for us to be. Not always the best for us even when we've had sleep. An hour long drive to the city netted a nap for my daughter but my son was having none of it. We had a very successful visit and lunch out. All still good.

On our way home we picked up grandma for a visit to our house. The noise level definitely took a step up with the kids jumping off of the bunk beds on the second floor but all was well.

Then, grandma left. *sigh*

Homework was ok, which is really the best it ever is in our house. But somehow mom cooked the pasta wrong and 9+4 really is 14 if only mom would wake up and realize it. What a meltdown... only, you know what? It was a normal meltdown. It was the meltdown of a sleepy, sleepy child who could not be made happy. My baby was just so tired that nothing was right in the world. After 15 minutes of tantrum we corrected our homework and accepted mom's terrible pasta for dinner.

I can't tell you how happy I am. I know it sounds strange but my son has never thrown a normal tantrum before. Can he really be growing out of so many of his problems? Heavens, I hope so.

Happy New Year!

There will be no post tonight as we are celebrating.  Happy New Year!

Separation Anxiety Gone Wild

Separation Anxiety Gone Wild

Separation anxiety is an ongoing issue in our household. When the school year started my son had a terrible time separating from me and attending school. It didn't help that we had moved and were in a new school. 6 weeks into the school year, my son started to settle down.

To help with his transition I supplied many photos of myself. Ironically, the one he liked the best was the one where I was wearing sweat pants with crazy hair and washing dishes. Ok, I don't think any modeling agencies will be contacting me soon.

None of the above really surprised me as it seemed to fit nicely into our normal craziness. Separation anxiety is nothing new for us. What surprised me was the follow up from my therapist. She told me, “when mom disappears, all of mom's rules disappear too”.

Huh?

Wow, what a powerful statement. When I disappear, ie am out of sight, then all of my rules and training are also up for grabs? Wow. I'm almost speechless. No wonder my son has so many problems remembering to share, to use nice words, to follow the rules. What rules? There are none if I'm gone.

These days we've stepped up the separation anxiety work. I often ask my son where I'll be when he is at school. If he can mentally place me somewhere then there is no separation … or at least a weak link to me. If he can place me, than my rules stay in place.

To help strengthen this skill we continue to play “peek a boo” at random times. A little bit at bath time with the towel, a little bit at coat time with a coat, maybe a hat. These little reinforcers throughout the day make more impact than a big exercise.

As my son continues to adjust to first grade this year, I feel like I am learning as much as he is. When he struggles with rules at school I realize how much I have to reinforce at home. When he struggles to complete a task, I realize how weak his motor planning skills are. When he struggles, I struggle.

We continue, we continue, we continue. I know there is an end to this one day but for now, we continue.

Not Quite Calm

Not Quite Calm

With the holidays and the lack of schedule it has been surprisingly calm at my house. No major meltdowns until just the other day. Sometimes I forget about the post-Christmas letdown. It's like buyers remorse. It doesn't matter how fantastic of a deal you got, after you still feel letdown. The couple of days after Christmas is like this for my children.

Our morning started out mostly typical but my son had been getting up a little earlier each day. For us this is a sign of bad things. We always monitor his sleeping closely. During the week of Christmas I also had some visits from my son in the middle of the night. Hmm. Not enough for us to have to put a solution in place but enough for us to monitor closely.

Regardless, our morning started out mostly normal with the exception of my son getting up at 5:45am instead of 6:30. Yes, 6:30am is as late as it gets in my house. My son also woke with a cough. Coughs are huge worries for us as they can quickly escalate into asthma emergencies. Time for t.v. and a double shot of medication. We take all nebulizer treatments while watching tv because they bother my child so much and they take so long. A double shot (technically two medications given at the same time) usually takes about 30 minutes to administer.

My son almost immediately starts reacting to the medication. He is pulling my hand, squeezing, fidgeting and unhappy. He is having a tough time. If I were to get up and leave the couch, my son would dump his medication onto the floor. (Something I discovered the hard way.) I don't understand why it is so hard for him or why so many children with sensory issues or mental issues have so many problems with this medication. With some screaming, we make it through the medication. Whew!

Next comes the herculean task of breakfast. I make that ever nutritious selection, Eggos. (Ok, not nutritious. Go away food police.) Somehow there is another meltdown. The waffle was overcooked, undercooked or simply present. I'm unsure what the offending waffle did but it was unforgivable. Meltdown.

Onto the stairs my son goes while my daughter eats all of the cooked waffles. (Damn it, I was hungry.) We calm down and ramp up. Calm down and ramp up... over and over. We cannot stabilize or maintain. When we escalate to screaming and hitting the walls I give the melatonin. Thirty minutes later I have an upset but in control child. One I can talk to and reason with. We have cooked new, inoffensive Eggos and the world is ok if not stellar. I monitor my son all day but he is fine.

What a crazy day.

Sensory Games for Everyone

Happy Holidays – Some sensory games for everyone!

With the holidays come two blissful weeks of vacation from school for my children as well as candy, pie, family events and of course, Santa. While we always look forward to this exciting time, two weeks off and lots of excitement can be challenging for both of my children. We have survived pretty well up until now, but suddenly the presents are open, the pie is gone and there is still a week of free time left. What will we do?

To help take the sensory edge off of my children, we tried a few new things this season. First we have a sensory bucket. In past winters I would make a “sandbox” of sorts for my children. I purchased an amazingly large plastic container with a good lid, bought 5 lbs of rice and 5 lbs of beans (added any small pasta or such I had around the house) and wa-la, and instant sand box to hide toys in. Well, last year my kids refused to play with it (and let's face it, it's pretty big). This year, I have a small bucket (previously a canister for sugar) and it contains a much smaller amount of the same things listed above. I've hidden several very small toys like miniature Star Wars figures or Zoobles and the children must find 6 – 10 items before they can have whatever treat they have asked for. They also must hide the items for the next child. I find this to be small, easy and fast. A great way to get some minor sensory interaction for my kids.

I also convinced my hubby to cut a carpet square for me. Turned upside down, the kids can use this to scoot and slide across the laminate floor. Since the carpet part is face down, there is no damage to the floor.

Other ways I get some activity into my kids is to leave the house. Sounds simple, I know, but it's harder that you'd think. When my son needs sensory input the most is when he desperately wants to stay home. I will create some errand or task and send the kids to put on their boots and coats. Fighting ALWAYS breaks out and they are sent to the garage to wait for me. What is in the garage? A scooter and some balls. Magically, it takes me a long time to get out there. In the meantime my kids will play while waiting for me. (BTW, this works before school too. My kids always want to sled when it's time to go to school but not if we have an extra 10 minutes in the morning. I just plan in extra time now.)

Some additional ideas that have worked for me in the past:

- freeze small toys in ice. You will need paper cups. Fill 1/3 with water and freeze. Add toy and 1/3 of water. Freeze. Add last 1/3 and freeze. Then give your child a plastic bin and a wooden spoon and let the beat the toy out of the ice.

- Make cookie pies. I give my children cookies or graham crackers and some of the squirt icing from the store and let them make houses or just play in the mess. I always do this on a cookie sheet so that it is easy to clean up.

- Measuring stuff. Ok, this one is messy. I will give the kids either water or dry goods like oatmeal and corn meal (don't mix wet and dry unless your crazy). Then I give them bowls, spoons and measuring everything. This is an incredible mess but can keep the kids busy for hours. Sometimes it's worth the mess.

Good luck everyone, and Happy Holidays!