MIL - again

November 11, 2010

It has been so many days since I've written. My MIL who recently moved to the area has not been doing well. On Friday, I was at her place for several hours because she was having a lot of difficulty breathing. We discussed going to the ER repeatedly but the doctor kept telling us that as long as her oxygen numbers were above a certain level that we should wait. For 6 hours we waited. Finally the medication took hold and her breathing eased. Everything was starting to look ok.

Saturday was the birthday party for my twins. I checked in frequently but my MIL continued to do ok.

Now, Monday. *sigh* At 8:30am I get a call from the Assisted Living place. “Are we taking MIL out? Is she going home on this day?” Why would she go home? “MIL has explained that she has to get home. She has many household things that need her attention.”

9:00am Monday. A call from MIL left on the answering machine. “I have to leave the Assisted Living place. (note the “have to”) Can you bring something for me to pack in? I'm planning to stay with you until you can take me home.”

9:45am Monday. I arrive at the A.L. After dropping my kids at school. I unpack her while explaining that she does not “have” to go home... but it's ok, she explains because she needs to go home anyway. Mmm, no. I reply, “ but you need to be healthy for more than 2 days before you can go home. Just Friday you asked to go to the ER because you were having problems.”

“I was having problems? I think your confused. I didn't ask to go to the ER!” At this point I stopped and looked at her... really, really looked and there was not a bit of guile in her face. She didn't remember the problems from Friday or the calls to the doctor or the decisions to go to the ER vs. not go. She didn't remember. Wow.

We've known for a bit now that my MIL suffers from mild dementia but nothing serious. Well, surprise, serious has just entered the building. With her breathing problems and difficulty maintaining her weight (she is too skinny) her dementia can spiral out of control in just a few seconds.

Moving forward to yesterday and today. Breathing problems come and go with MIL but progressed to pneumonia in one lung yesterday. Today, it took over the second lung. By 8:00am I was on the phone again talking to the A.L. place and leaving messages for the doctor. By 9:00am I was again thinking ER. By 10:00am medicine had kicked in and things were getting better.

By 11:00am, I was exhausted.

I would like to say that I have some words of wisdom. Something to share with others who might be in this same situation, but right now I am just getting through from day to day. I'm hopeful that tomorrow will not bring another 8:00am call. I'm hopeful that I can sit in my pj's and catch up on the laundry. Someday I will have the time to ponder how I've spent my life but right now I just want to drink my glass of wine and go to bed.

Ah, what will tomorrow bring?