The Mighty Schedule

The Mighty Schedule

I've started to wonder which came first, the mighty schedule or the inflexible child? Alright, I know that my son was born inflexible whereas my daughter is much more normal in her ability to handle change but still I wonder, does our inflexible schedule make my son worse?

One day I needed to travel the 4 hours to see my mother in law (who lives here now) and my husband was to pick the kids up after school and a brief stint in after-care. My son threw a terrible tantrum and refused to go to school. His reason? Mom was supposed to pick him up, not dad. I did my trip on the upcoming Saturday instead without any problems, but that was the day I started to wonder, was I making my inflexible son worse?

I always walk my children to school. I always pick them up. I always stand in the same place on the playground. I've done this to cut down on the separation anxiety and build confidence but my son now seems to think that I am the only one who can perform these tasks. Earlier this week I sent my husband to pick up the kids without me. My son was ANGRY. “Where is mom!” he demanded. “I don't want you. I want mom!”. After this I was positive, I am making my son worse.

This week I'll be starting a program of inconsistency. I will stand in different parts of the playground. We will be both late and early to school. (Ok, not too late.) We will walk with the children in the neighborhood and walk without them and I will handle the resulting meltdowns.

Never in my life have I heard of a parent having to teach their child how to be flexible but I think this is turning out to be one of the most important lessons that my son will learn. I also think it will be one of the hardest.

Wish me luck.

ps. Tonight is night #3 without melatonin. Last night it was 1:45 until sleep. Tonight, I just don't know.