My Child Is Like An Onion

Oct 29, 2010

My Child Is Like An Onion

Sure, everyone has layers, but my kid has LAYERS! At the ripe age of 4 he was diagnosed with Attachment Disorder. We had all of the classic symptoms: no eye contact, shopping for a new mommy, rages, etc. We started a regime of Theraplay. (I cannot recommend Theraplay enough.) As we got started on the basics of therapy, my therapist kept asking, 'are you sure your son doesn't have SPD?' No, was always my response. See, I had read 'The Out of Sync Child' and my son didn't fit. In reality, I simply didn't understand what I was reading.

We took a simple test and my son scored off the charts for sensory seeking. Hmm, another therapy to integrate. Now this is when the interesting part happened. As Theraplay got underway and progress was made, my son's SPD ramped up. He was touching and mouthing everything. Rages actually increased while we made progress with Theraplay. What???

Enter occupational therapy. Into the therapy room went my bouncy, bumpy little boy who was looking forward to swinging and climbing and everything else. Out came a toddler who needed his mommy. Who needed to held and hugged and snuggled. Who needed quiet and very little sensory input. WHAT??

How in the word did attachment therapy send my kid into rages and O.T. turned him into a toddler? And were these reactions consistent? Of course not, what a silly question. This was when I first learned that my child was like an onion. When his senses were out of whack, none of the attachment activities could penetrate his storm of senses. He couldn't feel my love or concern. He couldn't attach.

Also, when his attachment was out of whack it created more of an internal storm which fueled his SPD. The more you don't love me, the more rage I feel, the more dis-regulated I am, the more I spin out of control.

Wow.

After 4 weeks I started to get a feel for the pattern that I would be facing with my child. After about 6 months the different therapies finally began to integrate. The mood swings were not as wide as before. We were getting somewhere.

Three years later (aka, today) the swings are still present. The mood swings look different and are evolving with my son, but they are always there. Someday, I hope everything will integrate for my child, but for now we handle the swings and the progress that they bring us.