The Crossroads

The Crossroads

We are hitting the cross roads of transition problems and separation anxiety coupled with some control issues.  Whew, what a mess.  My son has a problem with transitions.  He always has but as he has matured he has been better able to handle the normal, every day transitions of school vs. home vs. going out to eat.  Most people will read that last statement and think, 'ah, yes, I remember when little johnny wouldn't come out of the McDonalds play area and would scream like a banshee when it was time to go'.  Now take that
same thought and put in on a six year old who needs to go to school or a playdate or just to bed.  Separation is very hard on my little boy.  He is getting much, much better but things like the end and beginning of school are particularly tough for him.

For us, the end result of a transition battle is a separation anxiety problem.  I have just thown a HUGE tempertantrum over the end of a playdate and now I need to see my mommy. Not only see her but touch her and hold her and be with her ... only not really... because attachment disorder says that she cannot handle my dispair and I must take care of myself so I must scream and push her away.

Getting the picture yet?

Tonight we had another tornado of transition, separation and control issues.  A tornado is my best description because I really cannot figure out where one starts and the other begins.  It is just crazy here.  It is the end of the school year so I expect this but expecting it is not the same as living through it.  I worry that my son will never learn how to control this storm of emotions inside of him.  I think we need professional advice again.  Luckily, I can still go back to our therapist to get advice.  She doesn't have a magic wand but she does have a lot more experience than I do.  She has a lot of ideas.

Fingers crossed.  We will make it to summer.

Oh, What a Normal Night

Oh, what a normal night!

I don't often feel like I get to write about normal nights. Today wasn't totally uneventful. After going to bed late last night, my children got up at midnight to celebrate the new year. My husband was in charge of this event and all three of them had a great time watching fireworks in the sky and saying “hi” to neighbors. Our little poppers were just the icing on the cake.

The kids did a good job sleeping in this morning but today was a day packed full of places for us to be. Not always the best for us even when we've had sleep. An hour long drive to the city netted a nap for my daughter but my son was having none of it. We had a very successful visit and lunch out. All still good.

On our way home we picked up grandma for a visit to our house. The noise level definitely took a step up with the kids jumping off of the bunk beds on the second floor but all was well.

Then, grandma left. *sigh*

Homework was ok, which is really the best it ever is in our house. But somehow mom cooked the pasta wrong and 9+4 really is 14 if only mom would wake up and realize it. What a meltdown... only, you know what? It was a normal meltdown. It was the meltdown of a sleepy, sleepy child who could not be made happy. My baby was just so tired that nothing was right in the world. After 15 minutes of tantrum we corrected our homework and accepted mom's terrible pasta for dinner.

I can't tell you how happy I am. I know it sounds strange but my son has never thrown a normal tantrum before. Can he really be growing out of so many of his problems? Heavens, I hope so.

Not Quite Calm

Not Quite Calm

With the holidays and the lack of schedule it has been surprisingly calm at my house. No major meltdowns until just the other day. Sometimes I forget about the post-Christmas letdown. It's like buyers remorse. It doesn't matter how fantastic of a deal you got, after you still feel letdown. The couple of days after Christmas is like this for my children.

Our morning started out mostly typical but my son had been getting up a little earlier each day. For us this is a sign of bad things. We always monitor his sleeping closely. During the week of Christmas I also had some visits from my son in the middle of the night. Hmm. Not enough for us to have to put a solution in place but enough for us to monitor closely.

Regardless, our morning started out mostly normal with the exception of my son getting up at 5:45am instead of 6:30. Yes, 6:30am is as late as it gets in my house. My son also woke with a cough. Coughs are huge worries for us as they can quickly escalate into asthma emergencies. Time for t.v. and a double shot of medication. We take all nebulizer treatments while watching tv because they bother my child so much and they take so long. A double shot (technically two medications given at the same time) usually takes about 30 minutes to administer.

My son almost immediately starts reacting to the medication. He is pulling my hand, squeezing, fidgeting and unhappy. He is having a tough time. If I were to get up and leave the couch, my son would dump his medication onto the floor. (Something I discovered the hard way.) I don't understand why it is so hard for him or why so many children with sensory issues or mental issues have so many problems with this medication. With some screaming, we make it through the medication. Whew!

Next comes the herculean task of breakfast. I make that ever nutritious selection, Eggos. (Ok, not nutritious. Go away food police.) Somehow there is another meltdown. The waffle was overcooked, undercooked or simply present. I'm unsure what the offending waffle did but it was unforgivable. Meltdown.

Onto the stairs my son goes while my daughter eats all of the cooked waffles. (Damn it, I was hungry.) We calm down and ramp up. Calm down and ramp up... over and over. We cannot stabilize or maintain. When we escalate to screaming and hitting the walls I give the melatonin. Thirty minutes later I have an upset but in control child. One I can talk to and reason with. We have cooked new, inoffensive Eggos and the world is ok if not stellar. I monitor my son all day but he is fine.

What a crazy day.

Needing a Clue Card

Needing a Clue Card

November 13, 2010

Yes, I am needing a clue card right now. My son is... well, not right. He is not melting down. He is not raging. He is going to school and playing with friends. Why am I not happy? Why? Because, he is not right.

My son is having trouble focusing. He is talking out of turn at school. He is touching and handling everything. It's like his sensory problems are running crazy but muted. What the hell is going on?

Ok, it's driving me crazy. I'm an expert at my children, particularly my son and his many issues, but this one has me confused. He is unfocused which is pretty unusual for my child. His senses are out of whack but not wildly out of whack. He continues to sleep without the help of melatonin. His asthma is in control.

On the other hand, my son will run around and stick his hands in raw hamburger. (So far I've caught him everytime before he has stuck his hand in his mouth.) He touches everything on the kitchen counter. On the other hand (yes, I have three hands) he uses his words to get gum or chewy stuff to cut down on issues. The babytalk has not reappeared. I'm lost.

I suspect others have been in the same situation that I am. You know that something is not quite right with your child but you don't know what. I feel like my son might have the beginnings of the flu or ADD or … I don't know, a tapeworm, SOMETHING. We're at the beginning of something, I just don't know what. Maybe I'll never know. Maybe my mommy-spidey senses will conquer this problem and it will just disappear.

In the meantime, we are playing sensory games. Gum has become a daily item in our house. I purchased the old fashioned, tough bubble gum today. According to my therapist it counts as heavy work. I also picked up Starburst and Carmels. Both are very chewy for my kid. In addition, I used spray icing, graham crackers and plastic plates for dessert tonight. Both my kids thought it was “so cool” to get icing to both play with and to eat. The graham crackers were just extra. My son didn't eat a lot of the icing but he did play with it. Maybe this new texture will help him integrate.

My detective work continues...